I wanted to share Peter's presentation speech. It speaks for itself:
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Hello,
I’m Peter von Euler, and this is my wife Nancy.
It’s ironic that I’m here presenting a music
scholarship award. If anyone asks me, I
usually say, “I’m not particularly musical,” or, “I don’t really have a great
ear,” or, “I could never carry a tune.”
It’s also ironic because my daughter, Emma had everything that I
lacked.
In
creating this scholarship, my wife, my daughter, and hundreds of family members
and friends are trying to continue Emma’s music legacy where she left off. Before we present the scholarship that bears
her name, I hope you’ll allow me to make a plea.
My
plea is for you to never say the things about yourself that I just said a few
moments ago. Don’t ever say you’re not
musical. Music is about bringing
different notes together to create a sound that moves people to smile, to dance,
to cry, or find peace. Most importantly
music is about pulling different sounds together and creating harmony. I could easily hear my daughter’s musical
talents when she sang or played the flute, but I may have missed her most
important musical gift. She accepted
people. She celebrated differences. She loved the quirky, the unconventional, the
disconnected, and she often brought them together in a beautiful way. I’m striving for that kind of musicality in
my life.
Don’t
say, “I don’t have a good ear.” Maybe I
don’t have perfect pitch, as some say my daughter had, but that doesn’t mean I
can’t train my ear. I can listen for
subtle notes of trouble or struggle in someone else’s voice. I can say, “How are you doing?” and insert a
rest, leaving room for an honest reply.
Don’t
say, “I can’t carry a tune.” When Emma
died by suicide just five days short of her 17th birthday, I lost my
voice. I was rendered mute by shame at
how she died, by guilt at what I could have done, by fear that I might never be
happy again. In the three years since
Emma died, my wife has helped me find my voice.
She stunned me by singing part of her eulogy at Emma’s memorial
service. She then started writing down
all of the beautiful memories from Emma’s life and sharing them in a public
blog. She wrote, “I refuse to
allow Emma, or our lives together, to be defined by [her last] desperate
act.” In effect, she echoed the lines
we hear sung so movingly at Relay for Life every year, “I will remember you,”
and, “Weep not for the memories.” She
has shown me how to carry that tune.
In these past three years, the broader
tune we have tried to carry is that we should strive to be a musical community.
Though we may sound different notes in race, religion, opinion, or sexual orientation, we all need to work toward harmony.
Our goal was never uniformity or perfect agreement. That makes for a boring song. Instead, our
goal is to become part of some bigger composition that holds together
beautifully. To appreciate some music,
and some people, you have to stop and listen.
You may have to get used to a new and unfamiliar sound. Usually, if you listen openly, your ear can
find something to appreciate, even in a piece that challenges you or makes you
uncomfortable. Here’s a challenging
note, but one we hope you’ll try to carry forward: mental illness is a legitimate health issue
that you cannot and should not try to solve alone. It must stop being a cause
for shame. Please carry that refrain
with you as you move on from this school.
The Emma Jane von Euler Music Scholarship is awarded each year to a Fairfield high school senior who is
planning to continue his or her study of music in college. Candidates for this
scholarship demonstrate not only a talent and love for music, but also a kind
and generous spirit and a desire to help and inspire others. This year we’re
thrilled to present the scholarship to someone who has shown that she [he] can make
beautiful music in many ways. Congratulations,
Danielle Cupp [Sam Warnick].
