Peter recently had a birthday. It was a difficult reminder of all that we have lost – not just Emma’s presence, but also everything that she contributed to the events of our lives that made them memorable and special.
Peter’s birthday was almost always celebrated with a family dinner served at home. The girls would help cook the meal. We always baked a cake and Emma and Sarah would decorate it. It featured lots of frosting and over-the-top decorations. There was very little advance planning of the design. They would just dive right in squirting colored gel on every square inch of the cake top and then adding sprinkles, like confetti, on top of the gel. The cake often looked a bit like a New York street after a ticker tape parade.
Emma always liked to have her own gift. Sometimes her gifts were things she had made herself and other times they were carefully chosen purchases. Either way, they were always a perfect reflection of the recipient and made you feel known and appreciated.
Her gifts were always accompanied by a handmade card. When she was little, the cards were usually sweet expressions of her love and appreciation. A fan of A.A. Milne’s House at Pooh Corner, Emma ended her cards for many years with the very Pooh-like, “Many happy returns of the day. Love, Emma.” Later she would personalize Peter’s cards, in particular, with drawings of his favorite things: a Redskins jersey or Orioles cap. Two years ago his card featured a stunning colored pencil drawing of the Adirondack mountains, a place that is special to all of us.
These handmade greetings, all carefully preserved, have taken on new significance for us since Emma died. Photos show the face that we loved, but these cards show the spirit and reflect how wonderful it felt to be known and loved by that spirit.
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