When I first started to think about what I would like to say today, I thought I might try to do a biography of my father's life and all of his accomplishments. He was the first in his family to attend college. He went on to attend medical school. He served in the Navy. He parented seven children. He had two careers, one as a private physician, and a second as medical director at Traveler's Insurance Company. But this approach does not even begin to get at the man that my dad was, and that is why we are really here today. We're here to celebrate the man we loved and the man we'll miss.So, I'm going to take a different approach. I'd like to share with you the character traits that made my dad the very unique individual he was. And yes, all you English scholars, I do know that you are not supposed to modify unique with very. But I think my dad is a justifiable exception to that rule.
My dad was a man who cared deeply about just about everything - big and small. He cared deeply about his family. He cared deeply about his home. He cared deeply about his education, and my education, and my kids education, and the education of the kid three doors down who he suspected was not doing his homework. He cared about the price of stocks he owned, and he cared about the price of stocks he didn't own. He cared about politics and religion. He cared about his neighborhood and his neighbors, and he cared about people a million miles away who he only read about in the New York Times. He approached every decision he made with great seriousness of thought and purpose, which is why he always thought he must be right. But in this apathetic world we live in now, he was a stand-out. My dad would never use that dreaded word "whatever." To Dad, everything was important. It was good to know that he was watching and thinking and just plain caring.
My dad was also a lifetime learner, His degreed education is a testimony to this in and of itself, but Dad never stopped pursuing new interests and issues. He faithfully studied the New York Times and faithfully watched The McNeil-Lehrer Report. He studied woodworking and model airplanes as if there was a test approaching. In fact, whenever he began a new hobby he completely threw himself into it. It was important for him to know absolutely everything about it and have every piece of equipment associated with the hobby. He studied his travel destinations so intensely and thoroughly before making a trip I sometimes thought the trip was unnecessary. It was incredibly important to him that he pronounce foreign words correctly and with gusto. Personal computers burst on the scene when my dad was already seventy, but he was not to be left behind. He swallowed his pride and took evening classes where he learned to use a computer from people many years his junior; and then he got himself the fastest, best equipped computer you could get at the time - at a very good price, I might add!
Which brings me to the next thing I think about when I think about my dad. Now, this is not really a character trait, but no description of Dad would be complete without mentioning his love of machines. There is a little 2 1/2 year old boy in my neighborhood that reminds me of what my dad must have been like when he was a boy. The other day I was driving home when I saw this child pushing a full size lawn mower across the street at a good clip. His mother is constantly chasing after him as he hunts the neighborhood for things with wheels that he can hi-jack and take for a joy ride. That would have been my dad. He loved machines of any type, but machines with wheels, well, as he would say, "Nirvana!"
And he had quite the collection. He didn't just have one of those wimpy little lawn tractors, he had a farm tractor! It didn't really do a great job on the lawn, but it was fun to drive and great for giving your grandchildren rides. Besides, if you had a great big farm tractor, you could pull other machines behind it! I gather that this is the equivalent of a double-header for a machine lover. I remember that he had this one machine he towed behind the tractor that he called a lawn aerator. But this thing looked too imposing to be a simple lawn aerator. It looked more like something you would use to dig land mines in a combat zone. When he finished using it on our lawn, I was pretty sure we could have earned an entry in the Guinness Book of World Records for having the only ten thousand hole golf course in the world.
But by far the most impressive acquisition was his airport luggage carrier. Not everybody has an airport luggage carrier in the garage and, frankly, I'm not entirely clear why my dad did. It was at least temporarily tied to the concept of building the ultimate lawn machine, but it never really did more than collect leaves. He was quite a sight driving around on that machine. I will often think about that and smile.
On a more serious note, my dad was determined and brave. No one who knew him could deny this. His determination had many faces. I remember when our family and the Eckels family traveled to Switzerland together, 16 of us all together, My dad was our determined leader. One morning our group was a little late getting to the Geneva train station. After all, its not easy getting 16 people ready in the morning! We arrived with suitcases in hand just as our train was pulling out of the station, but my dad was determined not to be left behind. He jumped onto the moving train and frantically waved for the other 15 of us to follow. We were not as determined as he was and he finally had to jump back off the train.
But his determination really shined through as he waged war against the illnesses that threatened his life. My dad had his first quadruple bypass surgery when I was only in high school. At that time it was a relatively new procedure and very risky. He had a long, hard recovery, but he was determined and he didn't just recover, he thrived. He skied. He traveled. We celebrated graduations and weddings and births. There was another bypass surgery and an even more miraculous recovery which, thanks to his bravery and determination, gave us more time to share together. There were more births and more graduations and more weddings and, by sheer will and the grace of God, he got to be there for them.
Lastly, he was deeply faithful. He was extremely committed to his Catholic faith and demanded the same from his children. There was no legitimate excuse for not going to church on Sunday and, believe me, with 7 of us progressing through adolescence, we tried them all. It didn't matter where you were, or what you were doing, or how you were feeling, church came first. And though many of us had our moments of rebellion, I know he was proud and relieved that we have all found our faith and our spiritual homes. He needed that faith as he waged war against this disease that claimed his life and we will need our faith as we learn to accept his passing. I find great comfort in his faith and devotion, especially now. I know my dad has earned his reward.
