You would think that would carry into a fondness for the occasion as an adult, but it never did. As an adult, New Year's Eve never seemed to live up to the weight of my expectations. I may have had some responsibility for that. My first year out of college my housemates and I threw a New Year's Eve party. We had plenty of champagne, but shockingly little food and no guests. No guests? That's right, zero guests. We each thought the other had done the inviting so, not surprisingly, no one showed up. Did I mention that our pipes had frozen when we were all away for Christmas and we also had no running water or working toilets? Happy New Year! If you had any lingering doubts of the scientific evidence, this story should confirm for you once and for all that the brain of a 22 year-old is not fully developed.
My niece summed up my feeling perfectly when she was about 8. We spent New Year's Eve day that year making noisemakers and hats with Emma and my nephew and niece in advance of an 8 pm children's celebration of the grand occasion. We gathered in the living room at about 7:50, donned our homemade hats, grabbed our noisemakers (decorated paper plates stapled together with dried beans in between) and waited for the clock to strike 8. We did the ten second countdown and then yelled, "Happy New Year!!" A few seconds later, my niece piped up, "Somehow I thought that would be more exciting." Yup, that's the feeling!
Clearly, this was not going to be the year to change that feeling for me. While I join everyone in wishing a hasty end to 2020, I also realize that the beginning of 2021 isn't going to be a cakewalk - at least not in our family. There are 20 days until the inauguration to get through. There is a month of radiation to get through. There is a memorial service to get to and through. Oh yeah, and COVID is still alive and kicking, even though the approval of vaccines is making us feel like there is an end in sight.
But judging by the advertising in my email and on my Facebook timeline, many people really buy into the promise of the fresh start that the new year offers. In the two weeks leading up to January 1st I was promised a flatter belly, firmer bottom, fuller eyebrows, and the elimination of frown lines and saggy jowls. Marketers seem keenly aware of our insecurities and have found the dawning of the new year to be an especially effective time to poke that bear.
Well, I'm not buying. Farley assures me that dogs consider saggy jowls, like the ones he and I both sport, quite attractive; and if my walking routine doesn't firm my bottom, so be it. It still seems to work quite well for sitting, which I think we can all agree is what it was designed for.
So here's wishing you a happy, healthy 2021 with everything you wish for (for just $19.99 in this time-limited offer)!
I remember that night -- no water, no flush toilets, too much champagne, one very angry Kate Millet's girlfriend (whatever her name was) and the best NYE ever. Sorry I forgot to invite anyone.
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