Dedication Ceremony

On Wednesday, Emma’s high school dedicated a bench and a tree in her memory in a brief ceremony. It was raining, just as it was on the day of her memorial service, so the service was held in the school’s auditorium with a picture of the tree and the bench that are now gracing the school’s courtyard projected on the screen.

For me the most meaningful part of the event came afterwards, as we were milling about the lobby getting hugs from friends and family. A friend of Emma’s who we had not spoken to before approached us and introduced himself to us. He was surprised that we knew who he was and we told him that Emma had always spoken fondly of him. It was clearly hard for him to find the right words to say to us, but he struggled through his own discomfort to try to offer us some comfort and encouragement. And then he said the thing that has really stuck with me. “Do any of you have Facebook? ‘Cause we should probably keep in touch.”

It was that statement, “we should probably keep in touch,” that resonates for me now as the most powerful statement of remembrance that was expressed that day. Behind those words was the recognition that our love of Emma and the grief we shared because of her loss bound us together. Those words, “we should probably keep in touch,” said “Emma will always be part of my life, just as she will always be part of your life. When we greet each other in town, or chat with each other on Facebook, even though it will often go unsaid, we will know that we are thinking of Emma.” It is a sentiment that has been expressed to us by many of Emma’s friends, sometimes in words, more often in gestures, but always loud and clear.  “We will remember.”